Friday, December 14, 2012

Finally got my first big break!

Growing up I always wanted to be a world famous actress, but mainly a singer. I have always had a huge passion for music! I got my inspiration from watching musicals like The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I was completely obsessed with the point where I would act out every single line and prance around our house pretending I was Maria, Mary or Truly Scrumptious. I just thought I had this killer voice and someone was going to find me one day! I was going make it big in Hollywood, be discovered, become famous and get my first big break!

So to start out...I begged my mother to put me in the Charlotte Children's Choir around the age of 9. It was a place where I could funnel the inner singer in me. In youth plays at church... I made sure I was the main actress and I definitely made sure that I had the main solo part. I watched Star Search every Saturday morning when I was growing up to scout out my competition and as time went on...when my discovery as a singer was looking slim to none...I dreamed of trying  out for American Idol. I truly believed I could actually make it big doing that!

So as the years went on I eventually sang in the church choir and on praise teams here and there...but I began to wonder why I would never get the lead solo parts and why I wasn't being discovered. Well...truth is...I sounded OK as a back up singer, and I can actually carry a tune....but all in all...I ain't no Sandy Patty, that's for sure!

So why did God give me such a passion for music? Why did God give me a love for singing if I am not that good like I had always thought? 

and all made since to me the other night.

My fussy little boy was growing so anxious and would not go to sleep. I tried everything and nothing would soothe him. As I was becoming increasingly impatient, and anxious myself I sat down in his little wooden rocker in the nursery in the pitch black dark and just started to belt out the words to him of the song, "Silent Night". I had tried everything else so I figured let me just go this route. So there I was...singing, and rocking. About half way through the second verse of the song I realized I myself was somewhat calm and soothed, and I was lost so beautifully in the words. I then happened to 1ook down and my precious little one was in fact sleeping in heavenly peace. That's when I felt the Lord telling me....this is why I gave you a tune and a passion to sing. To soothe your child.

I just smiled in that quiet dark room with my little one snoring so sweetly and cuddled up against my chest. Even though I may not have the voice of Sandy Patty or Julie was peaceful enough to calm his anxious spirit and to soothe him right to sleep.

So needless to say...I finally got what I had wanted all these years.
I got my first big break....I have been discovered :)

Thanks Lord.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Co-sleeping...Yes please!

When mothers or people in general ask me, "so what is John's nightly sleep routine?"  I always reply shyly and embarrassingly with..."he co-sleeps with us". From there I pretty much get silence or weird looks. Dont get me wrong...I thought that co-sleeping was a strange practice when I first heard of it years ago, but mothers and parents in general have strong convictions of how we want to personally raise our children...and Nick and I believe firmly in bed-sharing and co-sleeping. We have a family bed...and I am no longer going to be shy or embarrassed about that. Why should I be? It's what we believe and how we want to raise John and hopefully our future children.

I don't know if you are familiar with Doctor Sears? He is a wonderful Christian Pediatrician.  He and his wife have 8 children and they have all co-slept with their children. He has written many books and  wonderful articles on attachment parenting, co-sleeping and bonding. When I read his article, it was so encouraging and comforting to know that we are not the only ones who believe so strongly in this. You can check out his article on the scientific benefits of co-sleeping and how to co-sleep SAFELY on his website Definitely check it out...his research on co-sleeping and attachment parenting is co-sleeping actually encourages so many positive behaviors in children and into their adult life.

So does John ever sleep in his crib? Well...yes....he does take naps throughout the day in his crib...but when bed time calls he gets in bed with us. I have had mothers tell me...."what if you roll over on top of him"  and the infamous, "you know that increases SIDS?" Although, I appreciate their concern, I am not willing to submit to their scare tactics. I have even had family members that disagree with us..."oh, he is going to be spoiled", "he will never sleep in his own bed now", "what about your sex life?" Well personally, I have never met a 16 year old boy that still sleeps in bed with his parents and our sex life is just that....OUR SEX LIFE. lol.  Sorry, to sound so harsh. But, why does everyone feel the need to give their two cents on how you should raise your children? Like I said have to do what is right for YOU and your family. I believe if you pray for discernment and guidance on any issue in raising your children...God will point you in the right direction!

 Co-Sleeping is, "nothing new under the sun". Parents all over the world and in other countries have been practicing co-sleeping/family bed-sharing for thousands upon thousands of years! There are also two places in the Bible where it actually references in a positive light and one in a negative one....Luke 11:7, and 1 Kings 3:17-19. The second one, being the negative, is a story of a woman rolling over on top of her infant and causing death....(which I have also gotten this response from some of my friends hence above statements)...but the first one is in reference to family bed-sharing, which displays co-sleeping in a positive light. So biblically speaking their are both good and bad references to co-sleeping.

I love our family bed and co-sleeping with John.. Especially when in the middle of the night I open my eyes and can see my two precious men next to me sleeping so soundly. To hear their little snores and Johns faint cries next to me brings me great joy. When Nick gets up in the morning for work he is greeted by John and I as I am feeding him. Nick enjoys waking up to us and having a family morning. It truly does open up so much bonding for us both with John and I love it!  Of course we will transition John to his bed in the future, but, for now...we love it....we believe in it and it brings us great joy. So I'm gonna not be shy or embarrassed about John sleeping with us and I'm just gonna let people give their two cents about the issue and let it roll off my shoulders. I am sure along the path of raising John and our other future children we will have many instances of where our raising them might be differently than what some other parents do...and that is OK because it is right for us!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

One of a Solider....

This week is exactly 9 years ago that I waved goodbye to ole Charlotte at 18 years old...loaded up on a bus with $20 bucks to my name, a toothbrush, 1 change of clothes and started my journey as a Veteran...and a Solider of the United States Air Force. I still can't believe it today. Seriously....Corey did that?! Sometimes...when I am somewhere today and someone says "if you are a U.S Veteran please rise or please stand up", or whatever the occasion calls for, I am still in shock sometimes that I am one of the ones that are standing. I am a Veteran....once a solider. Wow....craziness!
Looking back on it now...I can't believe I did that. I left home so young....I thought I was invisible... indestructible....ready to take on the world. It amazes me now to think that if I was that same girl today...18 years old I don't think I could just go and do what I did. I was so brave....fearless...bold then. I had so much courage...I was stationed over in a different country for a whole year...with no internet access. Knew zero persons. Boarded a plane...flew 14 hours...flew over Mt. Fiji to get to my destination....ask me to do that today and I don't think I could. It's crazy how your desires...views...wants...passions and just life changes you in general over time.

So since that day....much has happened in my life. I have ALMOST obtained a college degree. I have married such a special man...and became a wife. I am a proud home owner and a dog owner for the first time. I became a rededicated believer in Christ...and I have also became a mother to the most sweet spirited boy ever. God has truly blessed me way beyond my comprehension. I have so much to be thankful for...and shame on me for ever doubting His plans for me or ever coveting another persons life or blessings. I am alive and husband, my son and family members are alive and well. What more could one ask for?

It's sort of funny to me when I think about it...what started out as me being a solider in the Air Force has now turned into being a solider in my husbands army...a solider in the army of motherhood...and a solider for Christ. My life is pretty much a battlefield...when I think about it. How much strength God has given me through tough times... when I felt like giving up or giving in. During darkest hours...I have had to rise up like a Solider in whatever the situation or circumstance has called for...only by God's strength have I prevailed and won those battles...of course I have had my fair share of loosing some...but we never really loose battles when God is our victory.

So 9 years ago this week I remember and reflect and think about all the areas of my life that God has called me to be a solider.  I also pause and just take in everything God has done and blessed me with in those 9 years since raising my right hand and taking that Oath of Enlistment. What an amazing journey I have had so of a solider.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

John's Birth Story

So John's birth story is just a tad overdue....and there is so much detail that it could go on for days. So to save time I have done a more condensed version of it below. I also wrote about my feelings of how my labor and delivery went and then there are some tips for new mothers at the end. Enjoy.

John Nicholas Travaglini

July 17th, 2012 (just one day shy of my 27th birthday).
7lbs 2 ounces and 21 inches long
Born via Cesarean section.
Induced due to high blood pressure and risk of pre-clampsia.
Induced at 40 weeks and 2 days.
Induction started at night before (on my birthday July 16th) around 5pm.
Induction was started with a synthetic prostaglandin medicine called Cervadil (softens the cervix).
Woken up at 5:45 am on July 17th and was allowed to take a shower.
Doctor came in at 6:30am to check cervix. (I was 1 1/2 cm dilated and 80% effaced.)
No contractions yet.
Cervadil was removed and Pitocin (synthetic Oxytocin, which jump starts labor) was administered and water was broken manually.
Catheter was installed.
Contractions started within a few hours, not unbearable, just uncomfortable.
Around 11am  labor contractions had peaked and I asked for Demerol (pain medication) so I can sleep through the pain a bit.
Awoke around 1 pm with full blown back labor.
Opted for Epidural (form of anesthesia used for pain relief in labor) at 5 cm dilated around 3pm.
First Epidural attempt was unsuccessful and immediately removed.
Second Epidural attempt only 1 side was numb (labored like this for a little over an hour).
Around 5pm I opted for another Epidural this time it worked fully!!
Checked for dilation around 6pm and was 6 centimeters dilated.
Checked once more at 7:30 pm and was still 6 centimeters dilated. Doctor informed me that he would be back at 9:30pm and if there was no significant increase in dilation we would need to look into possible c-section due to risk of infection going up from water being broken over 12 hours.
Doctor came back in at 9:30pm and I had only dilated 1/2 a centimeter.
Went into surgery and John Nicholas was born at 9:52pm.

I can remember laying on the operating room table...stretched out like a science project, doped up and overloaded on pain meds...thinking that at any given moment if I closed my eyes I might not wake up. I threw up several times on the table. It felt like a million years laying there...but was only about 15 minutes between prepping and the time John was born. Our Doctors words to us before he pulled John out were..."ok Corey & Nick are you ready for your lives to change?...on the count of three Corey, you might feel a little pressure....1, 2...and 3." and then 10 seconds later we heard the cutest little faint cry..."walaaaaa" it was so soft and serene. I just cried and said..."awww my baby". I didn't get to hold John right away, but Nick did. He looked scared, surprised, happy, in awe. I couldn't really see what John looked like because I was laying at an awkward angle.  A few moments later they took Nick and John out of the room and I can remember my heart breaking cause I wanted so desperately to go with them. After the Doctor stitched me up I was taken to recovery where John was immediately brought to me and laid upon my chest. I began to breast feed him and he latched on right away. It was so surreal. I was overwhelmed with so many feelings. I was joyful...I was scared...I was excited...I was afraid. I couldn't believe all was like I was in the twilight zone. I was overjoyed he was here. I was on cloud nine. What a phenomenal experience those 2 days were to get him here...and God had been so faithful to us and blessed us with our little miracle. It is still so amazing to me when I look at John...I can't believe he once was the size of a grain of rice...and now he is alive, breathing...has tiny fingers and toes...smiles and coo's at us. God is so good! I heard a quote recently that said "If you don't believe in miracles...perhaps you have forgotten that you are one"...oh how I love that cause it is so incredibly true. We are all miracles from God. All started out as a speck...a grain of rice...and then on into these extraordinary human beings. Only a loving God could create something so unbelievably profound and beautiful. Life is beautiful, and Jesus is the giver of life.

Although everything went according to God's plan in that labor and delivery room....once we got home from the hospital and was left alone with our new little miracle....I started feeling a little weepy and sad. I felt like I almost wasn't bonding like I had dreamed, prayed and imagined I would of with John off the bat. I thought it was going a tad crazy...(I know now it was all my hormones being out of wack and the onset of "baby blues"). I started having guilty feelings of how labor went with him. Labor was not like I had imagined. I thought it would of been a smooth labor and delivery process. I had to be induced. I had extremely horrible back labor...had to get 3 epidurals that were excruciating painful to get because of the back labor...and at the end of it all I had to undergo a c-section. I felt like I had failed John and I felt like I was a horrible mother for not having John vaginally.  I mean a vaginal birth was God's why couldn't I have one? I suffered with these feelings like "why would my body not allow me to dilate anymore, and what is wrong with me that I couldn't have a natural birth?"  I was so ashamed of myself for even thinking this way after having a beautiful healthy and happy baby boy...but I couldn't help it. Even though my Doctor reassured me that if we didn't undergo the c-section infection was imminent and that there could of been all these possible complications with me and John...and the worse case possible...a still born birth. I trusted my Doctor too...he is a strong Christian doctor so I know he would not do or allow anything unethical. But I was still mad at myself thinking that I could of stuck it out and had him vaginally. Oh, God....the misery I would feel if I wanted to be selfish and try and have John vaginally and something happened to him I would of never forgiven myself .So, for his safety and mine it had to be done...and everything thing that went down...from the time of conception, up until John was placed in my arms was all orchestrated by God. But, I know by now after reading all of this you may be thinking, "Corey...he is healthy...what more could you ask for?" I know trust me....I feel horrible for even feeling that way...but hormones, mental and physical exhaustion will have you thinking all kinds of crazy things! So thankful that is over with...and I am back to my normal I can soak up all the beauty...and enjoy his precious little life!!!! God was in this from the very beginning. I stand in awe of what a marvelous creation He has made in John.
Some interesting side note of c-sections. It's pretty astounding.  It was believed that Julius Ceasar entered the world through a c-section that is why it is called a Cesarean. Mother's back then pretty much risked their lives just to get their baby into this world...most of the mothers did not make it through the surgery, but their children did. They would of rathered died themselves than for their little one to not have life.What a selfless act.

You know...God always has a funny way of showing me who is ultimately in control...because lots of times I like to think that I am. I thought I could control everything about this pregnancy. Even trying to get pregnant to begin with. Everything was a control issue. I could control if we conceived...I could control how he was born. But, ultimately John came the way God intended for him to come. It was the way He had planned it. I give God all the glory! It was His idea...His idea alone. It was His plan...His plan alone! John is so healthy, alive, alert, and happy...what more could I ask for? And as for the bonding since then? oh, how it has been way beyond my comprehension. He looks at me and recognizes me and my heart absolutely melts. When there is a crowd of people in the room talking...and I enter the room and say something he stops moving and his eyes widened. It just melts me. I love motherhood...I love stepping into this whole new world of being a parent with Nick. I can't wait till the day John calls us mom and dad. We have so much to look forward to with John. Being a parent is truly a gift, it is a miracle...we are so blessed!

ps. For all the new mom's out there that have baby blues. Just know that overwhelming emotional feelings of sadness...anxiety... irritability and bouts of crying after delivery is 100 % normal for a mother. Your hormones are completely out of wack and are getting back into alignment like they were pre-pregnancy. Just think you went to having a human inside of you to of course you are not going to feel like yourself for a bit. I wished someone would of told me about these overwhelming emotional feelings that I would have. It wasn't until I spoke out about it that other mothers began to agree they went through same thing. Majority of moms do not want to talk about it because it makes them feel like a horrible mother. But, we can't remain silent. Women and new mothers need each other. However, if the feelings persist and or worsen over a period of time lasting longer than a couple of weeks...please contact your doctor right away. It could lead to post-par-tum depression...which can be pretty severe if left untreated. 

Tips for new mothers....make sure you keep an open communication with a spouse, parent or close friend on how you feel and please pray your way through those first weeks home with your is absolutely beautiful, but having a newborn is exhausting. Don't be afraid to ask for help, sleep when baby is sleeping, let the housework go undone for now, don't forget to eat a little something through out the day, don't be too hard on yourself about your appearance for a just had a baby so yes you are going to feel heavy, bloated and unattractive for a while...and last but not on and enjoy every moment with your new little gift from God...because they do grow so fast.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Back to Work

So, it was my first day back to work in 8 weeks!! maternity leave came to a close. I dropped little man off at the in-laws and of course I got really weepy upon leaving. I know he is safe and sound there and its not like I am leaving him with strangers which is a total blessing and I am very grateful that my in-laws are able and capable to watch him....I was just a little sad because this 8 weeks had flown by and this time out with him had come to an end. I am however thankful that I'm just going back part-time. It would of killed me to be away from him longer than 25 hours a week. I just cant believe this 8 weeks is over. He was here with me for 9 months in my womb....then 8 weeks  in the world and now we have to be separated a few hours a day. Yea its only 5 hours a day....but still he is so young. I feel like in a way we just got to know each other and build this bond. I didn't want our 24/7 time to end...or at least I wasn't ready for it to end so abruptly and quickly.

But, I know this is only the beginning of being away from him. Eventually he will go on to pre-school, then Kindergarten, then college, and one day into the arms of his wife and his own family. Ahhhh....I pray time doesn't go too fast so I can enjoy him. I  think one can never know how powerful time can be until you have a baby....or at  least I didn't. You realize a moment is worth the world...that minutes are precious...that hours are definitely blessing...and a day is truly a gift.

Lately, the thought of being a stay at home mom has infiltrated my thought process. I never thought being a stay at home mom was something I would of wanted to do....never. But, now its all I want to do. Stay home...raise John, take care of Nick and our home. Is that too much to ask? But, now a days it seems like that's not even the norm or financially an ability for most couples. Nick and I have seriously cut back so much...and honestly we have financially sat down and tried to cut areas that we possibly could and still it wasn't possible for me to be a full time stay at home least on paper it did not make sense at all. We would be severely under each month. Oh...but the Lord knows the desires of my heart. I am earnestly praying that He opens up other doors of opportunities for Nick job wise to where financially that could be an option for me. I know He will provide....and I know He will work this out for us...its the patience part that gets me every time.

So while I'm waiting, praying and anticipating...I know it will get better! Transitionally it will take some time and a bit of an adjustment to get back into the swing of things. I usually adapt and over come situations pretty well...I guess I get that from the military. I know I will look back on this down the road and say "boy...that was a piece of cake!" But, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes is hard...when it seems like your riding through a foggy tunnel. hehe. I can't  wait however to see what all God has in store for us through all of this! What an adventure...and I'm ready for it...stay at home mom or not...working mom or not. As long as I have Nick, the Lord and my little is good.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

2 months too soon!

So my little precious son will be 2 months old this Tuesday...ummm yea...I can't believe that...that is too soon!!!! This mean's that I am headed back to work soon! Actually, next week I will be back to the ole bump & grind. My heart is at a bittersweet stand still. Part of me is excited about getting out into the work force again, seeing some of my friends and just having some me time, but part of me is so sad to leave my little boy even if it is part-time. My hours will be 3:30-8:30 wed-sat. Not too happy with the schedule, but this is all that my work was able to offer me due to business need. So this also means a little less time with Nick. Our date nights will be pretty slim, which stinks, but I am praying now that God will open up other job opportunities....and hopefully a better schedule for me.

Since having John God has shown me so much! One of the things is that I have taken our marriage and my time with Nick for granted. I now know how precious that time is with him. For the last 7 weeks I have been consumed with John 24/7, which I have loved every minute of and wouldn't trade it for the world, but Nick and I both have put each other on the back burner...and in a way I have missed US time. Although, not spending enough one on one time is expected and 100% normal with a new born, however, we can't neglect our time together too. Our relationship is crucial to the well-being of our marriage and for John as parents to him. So please pray with me that God allows opportunity for schedule changes to come open where Nick and I get to have more dates nights and spend more time one on one together regularly.

Next thoughts... here are some updates on baby J: Since the last post a couple weeks ago...he has been recognizing us more and now giggles and coo's when we tickle him or play with his feet. Oh just melts my heart to hear him. I wonder what his little voice will sound like one day when he calls us mom or dad? Can't wait! He also has started sleeping a bit more at night...praise the Lord! Starting this week he has been going on 4 hour stretches at night. What a relief. I never thought he was going to do that...and was secretly freaking out that I was never going to get any sleep ever again, and I was going to walk around like a zombie until he turns 18 years old. Boy...your mind can sure run away with you when you are sleep deprived!!!

John has been eating more too...7 ounces is the most he has eaten in one feeding to date!!!! Look at my big boy go! lol. Its crazy when we brought him home from the hospital he was only eating an ounce or he's up to 7! Ahhh...where did the time go??? He also has a little blocked tear duct that the doctor told me I needed to massage regularly...bless his heart. Sometimes when he wakes up it is crusted shut. I have mentioned this to them because that definitely does not seem normal, but they just keep saying to massage it and wipe it out daily with warm wash cloth. I hope it opens up soon. I feel bad for his wittle eye.

We recently had to put up his Newborn clothing....oh man...this made me so weepy. So excited and happy that he is growing and healthy, but just know he will never be back in those tiny clothes again is sooo sad. I just know though with each growth spurt he is growing into the little child and one day man God has planned and I am so excited to be apart of his precious journey through life. I am one honored mother.

So ending thoughts....I'm heading back to work next week...John is trucking along great....and God is so good. Until next time....God bless!

ps. Last doctors visit with John on August 20th John was 10 lbs 4oz  and 23 inches long. :)

Sunday, August 19, 2012

He's here!!!!

John Nicholas Travaglini
Born July 17th 2012
@ 9:52 pm
7 lbs 2 oz 21 inches

Our long awaited little miracle is finally here and has graced our world with his presence!! The last 5 weeks have been beautifully exhausting. John was delivered via c-section so the first couple weeks at home I was amped up on pain killers on top of being sleep deprived, hormonal and just an all round new mother...I felt like a walking zombie. But, my incision from surgery  for the most part has healed, my body has gotten use to the crazy sleep schedule and being a mother is starting to come much more natural. I so love being a mother and discovering the world of parenting with Nick. I know it only gets better and I am over the moon excited to see this little life grow up to be the man he becomes and the plans God has for him. I still sometimes am in shock and complete awe when I look at his beautiful face. I can't believe he is ours...and this is real. God has been so good and faithful to us. Just a year ago on Johns birthday (July 17th) is the day I actually miscarried for the second time...and now exactly a year later I gave birth to John on that day. This was all a God thing hands down. Only God could orchestrate timing like that. For He foreknew John would be born just a year later. That is truly a miracle.The Lord was giving us back what was taken from us and most of all He was showing me that He is yet again in control. We are so ever thankful and feel blessed beyond measure that John is here, happy, healthy and safe in our arms...couldn't ask for more. What a mighty God we serve.

So here is a little update on how John has been doing so far.

Eating: He eats every 2 to 3 hours. Sometimes if we are out running errands and he is in car seat for a period of time he can go to a 4 hour stretch. When he eats...he makes all sorts of noises...which is totally adorable. He does have a pretty strong suction though and can chomp down a 4 oz bottle in minutes. I did breastfeed John exclusively in the hospital and for the first week home. So for about 2 weeks straight he was breast fed. I then introduced formula at night because I was getting worried about falling asleep while breastfeeding him and had a few scares with actually doing that. Then I think the formula got to be a whole lot easier and more of a convenience while out and about that breastfeeding has pretty much tapered off with him. But, I am thankful that he got the bulk of nutrients right after birth with the colostrum and that I got to have a ton of bonding time with him too. Breast feeding is a natural way to feed, but it can be exhausting. I recommend it though for every new least try it!

Sleeping: Like any baby he sleeps and eats. The first 3 weeks home I was just trying to survive with being sleep deprived myself and adjusting to his sleeping schedule. But, now that he is going on 5 weeks...I have been trying to keep him up a little bit more during the day so he can increase the number of hours he sleeps at night. So far so good!

Weight: The day he left the hospital he dropped down to 6lbs 8 oz. At his first doctors appointment, a week after he was born, he was up to 6 lbs 11 oz . Then exactly a week later he was 7lbs 14 oz! Little man must of hit a growth spurt. He heads to the doctor tomorrow for his one month check up so I am anxious to see how much he has grown in 5 weeks!

Looks/Features: Well...he came out with a head full of hair! Wasn't surprised...because I had horrible indigestion and acid I knew he would have a ton of something up on that cute little head of  his. He also has the cutest button nose! He has full lips and round bluish eyes...everyone says he looks like Daddy, but I swany sometimes I can see me as a baby in him from looking back at my baby pictures. But, I know he is going to have my personality anyways so at least he will have something to remind me and everyone of mommy -he just makes the funniest facial expressions that seem a bit over dramatic...can't wait to laugh and cut up with him.  He has long fingers and short stubby toes with the second toe being longer than the first big toe...which I will have to investigate and find out who in our family has toes like that...because mine and Nicks are not like that all. I will be interested to see who the culprit its really adorable though! He also has a receding hair line which donned him the name "Benji Butt" lol. There is this movie about a boy named "Benjamin Button" (Brad Pitt plays the character) that was born with a disease that made him old...and as he ages he actually gets younger. Little John sometimes looks like an old man with receding hair line and certain facial expressions he makes. I just love to kiss his nose and cheeks when he makes them! little Benji Butt!!!

Extras: Some other things that have happened is that he graduated from new born diapers to size 1 and he is already in 0-3 month clothing in some stuff. So most of his new born clothes I have already had to put up. It was so bitter sweet. I am excited for him to grow, but sad because I know I will never get that back again. I am looking forward to laughing and communicating with him. I know my heart will just melt the day he locks eyes at me and just grins and not because he is passing gas, but because he is happy at what he see's! He also loves his bouncer and his swing and it actually seems like his is listening at times when I read or sing to him. I have tried to introduce him to Charlie on several occasions. He hasn't really noticed him yet...but can't wait till he does! I am eager to see what he thinks!

John all around is such a good baby. He only gets fussy or cries when he is hungry or has bad gas. At first he didn't like baths or having his diaper changed, but every day he was home he got more and more use to it...and now he just coo's and ahh's as his diaper is being changed. He also makes the cutest, but weirdest noises all the time. Nick calls him "Little Noise-Maker". It sort of sounds like a gurgling, grunting noise. He does it when he eats, when he sleeps, when he is awake etc. Pediatrician said that it was him trying to be vocal already.  Such a smart boy he is. Actually he really 2 1/2 weeks he rolled over on his back from being on his belly. We couldn't believe it! We thought since the summer Olympics were on he was inspired, but maybe he is just a fast learner. He loves to cuddle and loves to sleep on my chest while face down on his stomach. I love seeing his many facial expressions when he is waking up. Especially, when he sticks his little tongue out and keeps it there for a minute. I just want to eat not really, but you know what I mean. He also does a really good "Popeye" impression. We will catch him with one eye opened. He has done that since day one in the hospital. It makes us laugh every time. He is already a character (she he has mommy's crazy personality already...I'm honored). He smiles and sometimes giggles in his sleep and we have snapped some pretty awesome pictures and filmed it a couple times already. The pediatrician also said that is a sign he is content and at peace! Awww that made my heart so happy to hear that!

Well...I can sense John is waking up for his next feeding so I must go for now. I will have to post his birth story in the next blog post that I write. Wow...his birth story?!?! Time flies!! Months ago I was writing his conception story...before I know it he will be graduating high school!!!!!!!!

                                       I love my little man! Thank you Jesus for his precious life.

Friday, July 13, 2012

John's Poem

Sweet lovely child you are.
Little space invader of my womb.
You who were once a prayer and dream,
Has now infiltrated my everything.

You crept so quietly into this glorious place.
You nestled in and invaded my sacred space.
What a precious secret being of mine.
Tiny expander of my heart and waistline.

A beloved dear joy and treasure you are,
One who is our most brightest star.
Awaiting to gaze at that mysterious face,
And to wrap you up in our loving embrace.

Oh, what beautiful grace has been shown,
By God to something so perfect and not yet known.
Your already our tiny adored gift from above.
One who has put our hearts into overdrive with love.

So, my sweet heavenly child you are.
My little space invader of my womb.
One who was once a prayer and dream.
That has now infiltrated my everything.

Please don't delay another day.
Come to us soon, this is what I pray.
What a precious secret being of mine.
Beautiful expander of my heart and waistline.

Love always,


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

39 1/2 weeks....and still waiting!

C'mon little man! I thought you would of been here by now, but I guess your loving the food and the nice warmth of mommy's tummy! BUT, want to see you and hold you already!

Had my 39 week doc appointment on Tuesday and everything is checking out great for baby John. Had a NST test performed, checked blood pressure and urine for protein. Everything came back great! Last week, Doctor was a little concerned about my blood pressure spiking and finding protein in my urine and had almost wanted to induce me on Sunday if things weren't looking up. Thankfully, he didn't have to. I truly want John to come on his own...because I know it would be better that way. I want to try for a natural child birth and Doc told me that if he did have to wind up inducing me, I could potentially be in labor for 24-36 hours because of my cervix only being dilated 1 cm. AHHHH...CRIKEYS! We def can't have that! So, it's not that I am totally ruling out a epidural or any type of drug intervention. I at least want to try Demerol or some form of mild pain killer to take the edge off a bit. My  mom and mother in law both had births with no epi and if they can do it...I just know I can!


So here we are just sitting and waiting...twiddling our thumbs and doing last minute little things like cleaning and making sure everything is ready for baby John's arrival. I tell you...I can hardly sleep. I am so anxious...nervous...excited...sitting in absolute anticipation 24/7 thinking that at any minute or with any pain or twinge felt that this could be it...this is the time! I pray that he comes soon...mostly I pray that he is happy, healthy and there are no complications. I can't believe that 39 weeks ago...we were praying for me to get I am praying that he comes any minute. God is so good. We are so blessed and so thankful for his little life that we will cherish and love to pieces!

ps. My birthday is Monday July that would be pretty stellar if he came on my birthday. I would not mind sharing it with him the rest of my and his life. It would be beautiful and the best birthday gift ever! So....with all that being said...hopefully next time I blog....I'll be blogging a pic of him and his and time!

Saturday, June 23, 2012

37 Week Update!

Did I just really say 37 weeks?! Ahhh! Well...actually I will be 37 weeks tomorrow, but close enough! That means I have 22 days left...and only 3 1/2 Saturdays left, if I am counting today as a partial. I can't believe we get to meet our little Johnny man so soon. How crazy, beautiful is that?!?!

Here's a little update!

Size of baby: Your baby is now considered "full term," even though your due date is three weeks away. If you go into labor now, his lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb. Your baby weighs around 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 18-19 inches, head to heel, like a stalk of Swiss chard, (since I was clueless at to what that was...I attached a pic). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. (We've been told numerous times that John will have a head full of hair because Nick was covered at birth! So hopefully he doesn't come out like a wolf baby...hehe jk, but we're expecting lots of dark hair :) ).

Total Weight Gain: As of last appointment on 11 June 2012 (35 weeks) I had gained 38 lbs.

Sleep: Yea right! I get it whenever I can, however I can...cause I definitely am not having the best quality/quantity of sleep at night. I am too restless and have to get up to pee every hour.

Symptoms: INDIGESTION/HEARTBURN should def be my new middle name. Tums are truly my best friend...just wish they came in chocolate! Had episodes of Braxton Hicks contractions in my lower back a couple times already...I could of killed Nick when he said to me "just think...these aren't even the real things yet!" -doesn't he know he prob shouldn't say things like that?! Had nausea last week a couple times. Having a bit of achiness that radiates down my legs, into my pelvic region and hips. Having lower pressure on and off through out the day. Breasts are extremely tender and sore like how it was in the first trimester. I have bursts of energy at some points and then extreme fatigue at others. Increased discharge (sorry tmi). Nesting on and off...I think I went through the majority of my nesting period a month ago, Nick however totally went through it like 2 days ago. I'm talking about curtains being taken down and washing them, vacuuming every square inch of our house, doing massive amounts of laundry. I think he was literately finding things to wash. It was so endearing :)

Cravings: Any and everything...nothing in particular.

Belly Button in or out?: 100 % in! Hasn't changed a bit.

Stretch Marks: I have a few, but very faint. Mostly on my upper thighs.

Maternity Clothes: I have moved from medium sized shirts to large sized. Pants are a bit snug in larges, but big in I guess I'm in between large & x-large in pants. I can still fit into medium maternity dresses....weird.

Movement: He was quiet & almost still there for a few days, but last couple of days he has been moving like crazy. I think he wants out already....I don't blame him.

Best Moments this week:  Knowing that I only have 3 weeks left!!! Almost have his registry complete. Got all his clothes washed, cleaned and put away. Had dinner with a dear friend who surprised me with mommy to be flowers :). I got a week off of work prior to my due date! Got a pedicure for first time since like January (usually do my own pedicures, but couldn't bend over anymore to paint my nails) and truly experienced a bit of heaven on earth for about 45 minutes. Ordered the cutest handmade matching sling, burp cloths, wipe case and some other baby things off of ETSY! Received a few more sweet shower gifts and finally bought his car seat!

What I'm looking forward to: Holding him for the first time. Looking over in detail and gazing at his little face, hands, body and all his beautiful parts. Being called mommy (which wont happen for a while...but that would be pretty awes if he came out talking...he'd be in Guinness book of world records and we'd be making some moolah!). Watching Nick change a diaper, feeding and bonding with him. Breast feeding for the first time. Watching him sleep next to us in the bassinet. Seeing him smile, hearing his first words, listening to him giggle. Witnessing Charlie's  first reactions when we come home with him. Seeing the joy and look on every ones face that comes to see him for the first time. Experiencing all the joys of parenthood with Nick. Not gonna lie...looking forward to at least remotely getting close to fitting back in pre-pregnancy clothes and having my body somewhat back to normal, but how I will miss having him here with me always and feeling him move inside me 24/7.
Milestones: That we made it to full-term! Praise the Lord!!

To Do List: Clean/boil bottles and paci's. Check our bags to make sure everything is packed and ready for hospital. Figure out how to use the breast pump. Take last & final pregnancy progression shots. Finish last minute books that I have been reading. Finish up last minute odds and ends on my Natty & Swank jewelry business. Get car seat installed. Cook/Bake some freezer meals.

I can't believe I am already typing a blog on 37 weeks! I look back over the past year and read my previous blogs and I can remember so clearly typing those up through tears and worry while just trying to hold out on faith and trust in the Lord that He was gonna bring our little man through to us. We have truly been through so much over the last year and it is amazing all that can take place in a year. As I am typing now I am recalling last year the day after my birthday on July 17th is the day that we miscarried and this year the day before my birthday on July 15th little John is expected to make his entrance into this world of ours. We are blessed beyond measure! Thank you Jesus for his life! We praise you because "He is fearfully and wonderfully made."

      Below are some random pics I have taken over the last few months......

                                                                A little peak of the nursery.

His bassinet already placed in our room...waiting and ready for his arrival!

Burp cloths, wipe case, car seat straps ordered off of ETSY in cute Robot pattern :)

Co-workers surprised me a adorable diaper cake, wipes and diapers!!!

                                                                            Me and some preggy girlfriends. Both are due in August :)

Me and my sweet girlfriend Laura at 36 weeks!

My beautiful friend Erin at my shower :)

Two wonderful women who threw my shower! So grateful for them!!

Beautiful baby blanket my Aunt B handmade John!

A little outfit I got baby John..."certified hunk" he will be...have you seen his dad?! :)

My cousin & best friend! Love her!

John's 3D ultrasound pic...33 weeks!

That's all for now! Maybe the next time I write...I'll be posting a pic of him with measurements :)

Saturday, June 2, 2012

The Canoe

You were probably wondering what this blog post was about considering the title is "The Canoe". Well, it is all about my precious little doggie Charlie Chew Meatball Travaglini.  "The Canoe" is just one of his many names, and you may be wondering how he in fact  conceived that name....however....I can not help you with that. See, I am not sure how that name came just came out of my mouth one day and ever since then we have been calling him that on rare occasions. So before we go any further let me just go ahead and break down a list of the many other names out there that we call him and let's see if I can also give you the whys behind some of the names:

- Charlie Chew (he chewed up my shirt, our carpet, the end of our night stands, my books, random q-tips found in garbage etc.)
- The Chew   (reference above)
- Chewy Man  (reference above)
- The Canoe   (not sure)
- Canoey Man  (again....not sure)
- Meatball   (Nick calls him this...I think it's an Italian thing?!?)
- Canoe Cachew  (it rhymed...thought it was cute)
- Lil Char Char  (when I pet his little head...awww)
- Char Canar (it rhymed....again i thought it was cute)
- Little Freak   (when he initially chewed up my shirt...our carpet...etc....he gets called this when he does things like that)
- Pee Pee man   (he peed, peed, and peed everywhere when we first got him....peed several places on our laminate hard woods and those spots are now destroyed. He is housed trained now...go figure...after all the damage that has been done)

Any who...with all those crazy names we have for him...and all the psychotic things he has chewing up things...peeing everywhere...etc. I honestly wouldn't trade him for the world. His personality is so stinkin cute and oh so prevalent, and lots of times he mimics a little toddler to us because of his playfulness. He also has the best temperament ever! He turned 1 year old on April 11th...and it seems like we have had him for years. He is such a big part of our family and I just know little John and him will make best buds. All in all...Charlie Chew, Canoe, Meatball, such a sweet dog, most friendliest dog ever, never meets a stranger...and has brought a lot of good times and joy into our lives. So today I want to pay tribute to him. Here's to Charlie!!!!

This little rascal rolled around in our dead grass and was covered in it...needless to say the Little Freak (one of those times we would call him this) ran into the house when I had my back turned and shook it everywhere. I was cleaning up dead grass off our carpet...floor and furniture for a good 45 min. He's a trip!

Brief History of "The Canoe"

  We adopted Charlie from the Humane Society last year as my birthday gift from Nick. He is a mixed breed of Basset Hound and Black lab. However, we think he has a little bit of Chow in him because of his spotted tongue and we also think he has Pit Bull because of chest/stance and facial structure. He has the smallest little ears to be a basset hound or a lab. His little body is long like a basset hound, and he has a long tail and short stubby legs. He is solid black...not a spot of white or any other color on him. He had 4 other brothers and sisters who were there that day at the pound. They were acting seriously ridic....jumping up on the kennel and barking all crazy like, but our ole Charlie (his name at the Humane Society was Booberry....yuck!) just sat there looking at us and didn't make a peep. He actually doesn't even bark much. I was concerned that he even had a voice box because he didn't bark for almost 3 months when we first got him (he does whine though, but not a lot). He however does bark when he wants your attention....but it is on rare when its a full moon. We def think he was a God send because someone actually  had a deposit on him for purchase the day we got there and laid eyes on him. I was so sad because I wanted  only him out of the other 40 dogs that were there. The lady behind the counter told us if the customer doesn't come by closing then they are considered a no-show and "Booberry" goes back up for adoption....turns out....the customer was a no show and hence forth...we got little Charlie man all to ourselves! Definitely was a divine appointment...thank you Lord.

                           This one is my fav....he's sooo cute!!

  He loves the I said...he never meets a stranger :)

   and that my friends is our Charlie :)

Friday, May 25, 2012

Pregnancy Survey

So this is my 3rd post in 2 days...I must be in blogging mode...

*When is your due date?     July 15th 2012 ...a day before my 27th birthday!!!!

*What week are you in?      32 Weeks!!! 

*What was your weight pre-pregnancy?     154lbs...ain't no shame in my game...hehe

*What is your current weight?       188lbs 

*Have you had an ultrasound?     Yes...thankfully everytime I have gone for checkup

*Do you know the gender of your baby? If so, what?      Yes...IT'S A BOY!!!

*Do you have a name picked out? What?      John Nicholas Travaglini

*Is the child being named after someone?    His father - Nicholas John Travaglini

*Who is going to be with you during delivery?    Just Nick & me and baby T.

*Natural or medicated childbirth?    Ummm whatever....not gonna get hung up on that....just want him here safe and

*How are you feeling right about now?   I am feeling ok...tired a as crikey...restless sleeping... having right leg pain....cankle swelling ;)...hungry...and a few minor cramps here and there...but over all...I'm good. :)

*What was the first thing you bought for baby?  Onesies, and books.

*What colors are the walls in the nursery?      Pastel Blue

*What is the nursery theme?        We went with an Ikea jungle themed nursery...but we put our own twist on it. Colors are blue, green, yellow, orange and red.

What is your favorite part of the nursery?     Our almost 6 foot orange giraffe wall decal. Will post pics of nursery in coming blogs...cause you have to see it! :)

*What is your favorite baby gift so far that someone has given  you?     Well there are several- his crib, his bassinet, Nick's baby shoes & rocker, a hand crochet teddy bear, and a handmade car seat cover.

*Do you feel you are ready to have a baby?  Well...there is no turning back now. Absolutely!

*Are you excited or scared about delivery?    Ummm...trying not to think about thanks for bringing it up. Jk. In all honesty I am a little nervous, but excited to go through every ounce of it just to have him in our arms!

*Any food cravings?    1st trimester I craved salt n vinegar chips & mcdonalds french fries- pretty much anything salty. 2nd trimester I craved all sweet & sugary stuff like sour patch kids & icecream I will eat just about anything at this point!!

*Anything you loved before that you absolutely cannot eat anymore?   Cottage cheese....the texture gets me every time.

*Age when you found out you were pregnant:     26

*Did you experience any pregnancy symptoms and what?:    Yes, sore breast, increased tiredness, nausea, implantation cramps, missed menstrual

*How far along were you when you found out?: The day before missed menstrual was due...I just felt something was off with my body....and so I took a test and saw those 2 beloved pink lines!

*Was your little one planned or a surprise?:     We were going with the flow this time..

*What was your first reaction when you found out you were pregnant?:  Praise the Lord!!!

*Who was the first person you told that you were pregnant?:  Hubby of course

*How far along were you when you felt baby kick for the first time?: 19 1/2 weeks

*What month did you find out the sex of your baby?:  February  at 19 weeks, so I was in my 4th month of pregnancy.

*Have you/are you planning on attending any Lamaze classes?:  Naw, just watch a couple YouTube videos and hope for the best.

*What kind of birth plan are you considering?:   I am opened to all options...just want baby happy & healthy.

* What pregnancy related books have you read/are you currently reading?: "What to expect when your expecting", & "Praying your way through your pregnancy"

*Any weird pregnancy dreams?:   Oh gosh, a ton...too many to count. Crazy ones from forgetting to feed my baby, to delivering sextuplets....

*Are you planning on breast feeding?:    Yes

*Do you plan on having any more little ones?:    Oh yes....God willing :)

 *What's the funniest thing that's happened to you while you're pregnant?  Well, it wasn't funny then...but it is now. I thought my amniotic fluid was leaking at around 24 weeks...went to doc and found out it was just me peeing on myself.

*Last but not least...what is the one piece of advice every pregnant woman should have?      Pray your way through your pregnancy...everything will either make you nervous, frightened for your baby, scared out of your mind or worried sick. There is not a thing you can do but to rest, relax, don't over do it... and enjoy being pregnant. Leave everything else up to the Lord...cause He is the one that is growing that little miracle inside of you. Trust Him.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Season of change...

In the last few months I have noticed a huge change in myself and a shift in my priorities. Although it had me utterly confused for a split second...I have  since then, with Gods help and a little help from an old wise woman, realized that my priorities, feelings, dreams, goals and passions are in fact shifting...which is totally normal since I  am in full preparation for motherhood....

So when I first started having these feelings around the second trimester I thought something was wrong with me. I found myself constantly I losing my passion and drive? What's going on with me? Oh where art thou my desires for the things I once thought so highly of? I had a long discussion with an ole wise woman who told me, "it's totally normal's just your body and mind preparing for motherhood dear, not to worry". I use to have these big, huge dreams for myself....these career goals that I wanted to obtain and these great, over the top things I wanted to do in ministry for the Lord. Now, these days, I am finding myself so content and at peace with just being the best wife and mother in the world and letting that be my first and foremost ministry. I told Nick a couple weeks ago, "I think I would actually be extremely content the rest of my life being a career waitress and just serving my family." Before, that didn't seem all that too successful to me. It is so funny to me now, and I feel so foolish at how superficial and ignorant I acted and thought. Not to down play any woman/mother/wife that has a huge corporate career and or involved in a huge ministry and holds down a family...cause that is absolutely astounding and I admire those that do, but for this season of life that I am in now I just earnestly desire to focus on being a awesome wife to Nick and a beautiful mother to John and serving the Lord by serving them first. 

I truly think, let me back up a min, I truly know....the ministry of wife hood and motherhood is one that is powerful and oh so important. We as women should never neglect that calling, especially those in my generation of woman. Society now a days seems to frown upon the women that are not working outside the home and being a career driven individual. Growing up in my grandmother's generation being a stay at home mom, or part-time stay at home mom was ideal, and society frowned upon those women that weren't ole "Suzy home-maker" per say. Now, I am not saying that every mother should be a stay at home mom because you have to do what you have to do for your family to provide if situations and finances call for it, but keeping our families, as mothers and wives, at the center and keeping Christ first is so heavily important in today's world.

You know...I use to think I had to be the next Beth Moore or Joyce Meyer to be effective in ministry or be something great for the Lord or to even be a success in life. But, I've now come to realize that Christ receives great joy when He sees His children serving in order, in love, with great joy and a willinging spirit. I once heard someone say "how can we serve others in ministry or do missions when our first mission (husband and wives, children) in our homes are just doesn't add up, it just doesn't make sense."...and it truly doesn't add up or make sense. Oh how I have had to ask the Lord's forgiveness for putting Nick on the back burner, for him coming in second so many times. There are times when I was rushing out first thing to serve someone else in need, and his needs were not being met at home. It pangs my heart to think that I have done that, and I think it is so easy to do that because we take our loved ones for granted lots of times, but I am greatful that the Lord is showing me this order to be effective and used by Him and for His glory...never neglect your home life and serving your family first....we must start there! For it is often times them that need us the most.

So in closing this blog I will say I am finding myself prioritizing my life, goals, dreams, desires, wants, wishes and all of the above.  Now I haven't literately sat down and made a list of it all in order, but its just the change and attitude of my heart that is evolving into something different for this season. God always knows whats best!

13 weeks left and....

Let me just first start off by saying that this post is about 6 weeks too late. I started it nearly 6 weeks ago...and logged in today for the first and realized I never published it to my blog. It was kind of a nice surprise to log into and see...hehe. Enjoy!

It's been an emotional last couple of weeks. I only have 13 weeks left till baby John is here and in my mind and heart I am growing increasingly anxious....

I was watching a TV show the other day that showed a young girl graduating from high school, and her mother made this statement, "Oh...where did the time go? She was just in my arms a few moments ago, now I am sending her off into the went by too fast." Boy....did that hit me hard and out of no where I started sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't help to think of the same thing happening to baby John with graduating in 19 years!! Ahhh...I don't even want to think of "Congratulations Class of 2031". He is not even here yet and I already don't want to let him go. Oh how I long to hold him in my arms, but a part of me wants him to stay right here in my womb...because at least there I know he is with me and protected, safe from the world. I pray that mine and Nicks journey with him in this life-time will be a long, and beautiful one. I pray that I will never forget  to just stop and cherish every waking moment and memory with him and to never take it for granted....because it is true...they just grow up so fast right before your eyes and you can never get those moments in time back. Then, before you know it, they are into this vast open world God made for them. But, I know truly deep down that he is not only just ours, but he is the Lord's and that is so reassuring to me.

It feels like I am entering a new chapter in life...and for the first time I am understanding things about the Lord, and myself that I have sought out for so long to understand...

"My whole life I have struggled with trying to understand God's love for me. I mean...I know His word, and  I know how amazing His love is written down for us in His word, and how completely indescribable His sacrificial love was shown on the cross, etc.... but never could I truly grasp just the unconditional aspect of His love that He actually has for His children....for me. In the Bible it says that "God is love" is just who He is. But, growing up I just couldn't grasp it for some reason. Someone told me a while back that you will begin to taste  just a bit of unconditional love when you have children of your own some day. I now feel like I am just getting to a place where I am experiencing that for the first time....the way that I already love John so much is I know just a snippet of how compelling God's unconditional love is for us....for me. I believe that having children is the closest thing that we have on this earth and in our life times to experience that. Wow...and just think He is SO good because He blesses those with children to experience and taste that unconditional love even when they don't acknowledge or recognize Him as Lord & Savior. I stand in awe. I am so overwhelmed to know that He favored Nick and I, and wants us to experience a glimpse and just a taste of that. For so long I prayed and really searched out how deep His love was for me....and now Lord....I am truly getting it for the first time. It is one of the most heartfelt and absolutely amazing things to feel, to know and trust in."

What a lovely chapter it is that I am entering. Can't wait to hold my little Johnny man and to look into his precious eyes. This mysterious little one that has jabbed, punched, kicked, nestled, tossed, and invaded my sacred womb has also invaded my very heart and for that I am truly blessed!