Our first doctors visit was at 6 weeks. It was then that we saw our sweet little Doe (called baby Doe because at that point we did not know if baby was a Jane or a John). I wept tears as I saw that little heart just a flickering on the screen. It looked like a little white blob, but it was the most beautiful white blob I have ever seen. At that point, I immediately contracted baby fever. I wanted to go out and start decorating, buy baby clothes, pick out names, etc right then and there...like as soon as we left the doctor's office. Nick and I had orginally decided we did not want to know the sex because we were told by several people "that there are only few surprises in life, and finding out the sex at birth is definitely one of those," so we truly wanted to wait. I was down for it. But, in the back of my mind I felt all along that it was a Girl.
As weeks went on I kept seeing pink everywhere...and the name I wanted for our precious girl kept popping up randomly in places. I thought it was a premonition...the Lord was giving me a revelation. haha. Ok...so maybe I didn't fully think that...but sounds good. Any who...I began to get severe morning sickness, headaches, food aversions to my favorite foods and then cravings for sour and salty things. I was told this is a sign of carrying a girl. Everywhere I went everyone kept saying..."oh Corey you are glowing...your having a girl." I kept thinking...yes I know. My little girl. I kept telling Nick over the course of several weeks, "it's a girl...I just know it....let's pick out baby names, and pick out nursery room decor." Bless my husband's heart he just kept saying "ok dear". But, I think he was convinced it was a boy this whole time.
So...we both decided on the girl name, we even went and bought a few girly nursery decor items. I had in my mind hair bows that I was going to create, and pinterest projects I was going to craft that involved our little girls name...already pinned and ready to go. Like I said I was fully convinced!! Eventually as weeks progressed and this little space invader of this sacred womb began to take over my heart I started writing to him/HER in a little journal...still referring to it as Little Doe, but was so sure it was a girl in my mind. I had people come up to me at work, and church and asked me, "so have you found out yet...what is it?!" I kept telling them, "oh no, we won't find out, but I know its a girl anyways"...because I had mother's instinct...and that never fails...right??!! lol.
Well the big day approached us at 19 weeks where we got to see our little one, and for the first time our family could see him/HER too. At this check up they wanted to check baby's organs, heart, brain, spine, anatomy and measurements. We could also find out the sex...well confirm it for me, but at this point we did not want to. I was so anxious upon arriving. My stomach had severe butterflies (now that I think of it, it was baby kicking) and I was antsy. They called my name back and all of us...including daddy walked into the room. I got up on the table...got into position....ready to go. The tech put that jelly substance on my belly...plopped the wand down on top and as soon as she did our precious gift was right there for all to see. Everyone fell silent...it was such a sweet moment....he/SHE had grown so much. The little heart was just a beating away...the little limbs were just a moving...even caught baby yawning and suckling in the womb.....
...."My heart was speechless, and so in love."Finally, the technician looked over at me and said, "so do you guys want to know the sex?" I immediately shrieked "yes!!!!" Nick bent down and whispered, "are you sure about this...you have been telling me for the last 15 weeks you didn't want to find out...so your positive you want to know?" I kept saying "yes, yes, please tells us...suspense is killing me!" The technician then began to type up on the screen rather slowly IT'S A.......she paused. We all were on the edge of our seats, wide eyed and bushy tailed....BOY!!! "ahhh....wow....awwwww.....congratulations!!!" Was the sounds and words coming in from the background. I honestly had blocked everyone out and sat their amazed, but shocked at the same time. I leaned up from the table and exclaimed "SO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T A LITTLE NATALIE?!!?" Technician said..."nope...all BOY!" I have to admit I was speechless for a few moments, I didn't honestly know what to do....the thoughts of pink, princesses, hair bows, ruffles, painted finger nails, baby pageants, and barbie dolls went out the window in seconds....and then...
all I could think of was... Beautiful. Oh. You.
With everything Nick and I have been through with failed pregnancies in the past year I was now looking at my healthy, precious baby boy on the screen. Oh shame on me for wanting anything different than what God has so purposely blessed us with!
After the 15 minute initial shock wore off, I was all smiles! My precious BOY! Ahhh...God has away of always stumping me and surprising me at the same time, and nevertheless putting me back in line...with "His ways are not my ways...and He knows the plans He has for me!" We couldn't be more happier and feel so blessed that He entrusted us with such a special gift...girl or not.
"I have already been dreaming and thinking about who and what he will become...a pastor, a lawyer, a teacher, a doctor, a writer...the President lol. Hey...I can dream for my son can't I?!? So excited to hold him, to examine his precious feet, and hands. To gaze upon his cute little nose,ears, and eyes that I just know he will have. I know sincerely in my heart God has big plans for him. My prayers now are continually that God will mold us into Godly parents, to help us set such a firm biblical foundation for him, to love him always, rebuke him with love when necessary, to discipline him with grace, to cherish who he is, to teach him who Christ is, and for him to love the Lord with all his soul, heart, mind and strength. I can't believe it...we are having a baby BOY!!!"So on ending notes...with every kick, and flutter that I feel going on in there from our precious boy I am reminded of God's faithfulness, grace and love. We are thrilled....and I can only see blue everywhere I go...and I couldn't stand the color blue before, but now it's heavenly looking! I am one proud momma...and I know daddy is just as proud and honored to carry on the Travaglini name..and what little bit of Italian heritage he will have left :). Everyone now keeps coming up to me saying..."you look like a boy mom"...lol I just giggle cause even though I sincerely have no idea what a "boy mom" looks like...I do know I am blessed beyond words and so thankful for his little life....so grateful to bear a son. Even though Mary was carrying the sacrificial lamb, the Savior of all mankind, the king of kings, the prince of peace, and God in the flesh in her precious sacred womb...he was still a son to her, and I can feel for her and any mother out there that is carrying a son for the first time. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!
& all I can think of when I look down at my expanding belly is... Beautiful. Oh. You.