As I am entering my 37 week of pregnancy with Natalie this week I know this pain will again be all too real and raw for me soon enough. If you may not know already...I am planning a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) since John's induction ended in a c-section last time. Not only just out of desire to want a vaginal birth, but I want my recovery time to be shortened this time since I will have not only a 15 month old, but also a newborn that needs their mommy. So I am thankful that I have an awesome supportive Doctor who recommended this route for me, and also a wonderful loving, and supportive hubby behind me as well.
Upon speaking with my Doctor on ways to up my chances of a successful VBAC and on top of my own research, he and I have concluded that eliminating as far along as possible if not forgoing altogether the use of an epidural or any other type of pain medication, which will greatly help my chances (since my Doctor thinks this is what may have slowed and stalled my labor down last time) of having a successful VBAC. So here I am not only attempting a VBAC just 15 months after a ceasearn, which is also major surgery, but I'm also planning on trying to do this whole labor and delivery think au naturel.
To say I am a little freaked out is an understatement.
I was pretty confident, content, and comfortable about this whole birthing experience up until a week or so ago. Now that it is getting down to the final wire I find myself getting a bit anxious and nervous. I mean I don't know anyone who would not be getting at least a tad nervous about feeling pain as equivalent to being repeatedly stabbed 50 times over and over...ok so that's a little out there...but it's a pain unlike any other and although the miracle of it is that the pain has somewhat been wiped from my memory.....I just know that it's upcoming pain I don't really want to have to feel.
Unfortunately though for us women because of Eve's fall and sin in the garden we have to experience this particular pain...in Genesis 3:16 it says, "I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children."
Gee...thanks a lot Eve! I still however can't understand why God chose labor pain as a form of punishment...but have to admit that this is a pretty creative form of punishment.
Oh, I marvel at His works!
Ultimately, I and us women In general can truly rest in knowing that laboring and birthing is all a God thing. I just know that He will be with me in those painful moments just like He was with me 15 months before laboring with John and was with me in that operating room when I had to undergo a section. The miracle of life is all a gift from Him. No matter how painful it was to get them here, and no matter what way He chooses to bring forth our sweet Natalie into this world, I will have to endure some form of pain either from major surgery (cesarean) or pain from laboring and birthing her out vaginally. I trust that God knows the desires of my heart, but I also trust in knowing that, "He also knows the plans He has for each one of us". He has been so good and faithful to Nick and I. He has entrusted us twice now with two little precious, healthy lives and for that we are so thankful, and I truly can not ask for anything more.
So with all that said...here I am due with Natalie in a few short weeks and have been busy preparing myself for her big debut. I want to go into this laboring experience this time focused and relaxed as much as I can with trying to go natural. Last time one thing I wish I would've done with John was have some labor music available. I love music. All types really. Especially music that is uplifting, inspiring, encouraging, positive and of course music that glorifies God. I had a couple friends who used music during their labors and it helped them to breathe and stay focused through contractions. So aside from the the walking, the birthing ball, the warm baths, the red raspberry leaf tea, the prayers and instructions from my Doc I decided to also put together my own laboring playlist...well actually two. One for laboring and one for birthing. I wanted to share my playlists below (they are pretty diverse songs...don't laugh...but these are songs that I've either always loved or that I am currently into at the moment that really uplift me, encourage me, and of course that I love jamming out to)...feel free if you are soon to give birth to copy and use my list as well.
1. Be Alright (Acoustic) - Justin Bieber
2. Bubble Toes -Jack Johnson
3. Empire State of Mind- Alicia Keys
4. Faithful is our God- Hezekiah Walker
5. Ain't No Mountain High Enough- Diana Ross
6. Gravity- Sara Bareilles
7. Give Me Faith- Elevation Worship
8. Hold My Heart- Tenth Avenue North
9. Hanging On- Britt Nicole
10. Only Hope- Mandy Moore
11. Starry Night- Chris August
12. Melodies From Heaven- Kirk Franklin
13. Nothing Is Wasted- Elevation Worship
14. Give Me Jesus- Jeremy Camp
15. Wagon Wheel- Darius Rucker
16. We Belong Together- Mariah Carey
17. You Are So Beautiful- Joe Crocker
1. Baby- Justin Bieber
2. Breathe- Michelle Branch
3. The Lost Get Found- Britt Nicole
4. Dog Days Are Over- Florence and the Machines
5. Firework- Katy Perry
6. Shackles- Mary Mary
7. Lights- Ellie Goulding
8. God Girl- Jamie Grace
9. One Step At A Time- Jordin Sparks
10. Part of Me- Katy Perry
11. He Is With Us- Love & The Outcome
12. Give Your Heart a Break- Demi Lovato
13. Titanium remix- Sia
14. You Lead- Jamie Grace
15. Crazy Things I Do For Love- Sammie
16. Isn't She Lovely- Stevie Wonder
On top of the play lists I also wanted to use scripture this time to meditate on...
Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
Isaiah 66:9 "In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born," says the Lord. "If I cause you the pain, I will not stop you from giving birth to your new nation," says your God."
Psalm 127:3 –
Deut 28:4 –
Isaiah 46: 3-4 "Listen to me, you who I have upheld since you were concieved, and have carried since birth. Even to your old age and gray hair. I am He who will sustain you! I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
Isaiah 40:29-31 "He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak. Even youth grow weary and tired, and young men stumble and fall. But, those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
Philippians 4:13 "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength."
As we approach the big day please keep me and baby Natalie in your prayers. Can't wait for her to be in our arms and for you all to see her!! Thanks guys!!!
Thank you for loving me and being so faithful in all things. Thank you also for another precious life to raise up, to love, to hold, to cherish, and to ultimately give back to you in turn. Lord, I pray that your name be honored no matter what. No matter how Natalie is birthed into this world. I pray that she is healthy and safe and that I am healthy and safe as well. You know my heart, my desires, my worries, and my fears. I place them before your throne. Calm my anxious spirit and give me a spirit of peace. Have your way Lord, and ultimately let your Will be done. For your ways I can not fathom and your Will is always perfect! I trust in you and I love you. It's in your heavenly son Jesus' name I pray. Amen.